finally with the hair!

Sorry. It's taken me awhile to do this. I still haven't gotten the before and after shots developed, but here are some 'afters' Matthew took. I'll show you the others another day.

"Who stole my caffeine?"

I am so sleepy tonight. I think my brain is more tired than anything, from the thought of wrapping up a couple of years' worth of work at the furniture store. Today was exhausting... my last Saturday.

Tonight we went downstairs to our good friends' apartment (Shane and Amanda). They made us this incredible tabasco/tomato fettucine with garlic bread, caesar salad... taaaaasty. They are all still downstairs playing Balderdash. I could not find the energy to join in the fun, so I came back up to bore you. Is it working?

I have nothing more to say, other than my best wishes for a relaxing, restful weekend. Blessings be upon thee.

things I found on other peoples' blogs today...

"…two questions that I seem to be asking myself over the past few days. The current stretch of work and travel must be wearing on me some."

"The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance
known to man. Other forms of transport grow
daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle
remains pure in heart."
- Iris Murdoch

Today I went in for my annual physical. Nothing like sitting on paper in a gown 10 times too big and being 'uncomfortable' to start one's day. I also had to have some bloodwork done to find out why I've been feeling nasty for the last couple of months. Hopefully they will find some answers for me when they get the results. I hope they tell me SOMETHING after the nurse collapsed my vein and continually poked and prodded my arm with needles. Aye carumba! Part of me is still there in that office, swimming around in a glass tube. I feel a sudden sense of loss.

Home again

Hey all- sorry to leave you hangin. I did go to my sisters and get my hair cut/colored. I like it! It's a combination of A & B. So easy to do- with my natural curl I can just wash it, dry it up a bit and I'm good to go. I promise I'll post pictures soon. Our digital camera was nowhere to be found when I left, so I had to take my film camera with me instead. Can you believe it- I have to actually take it to get developed! Kidding. How spoiled of a society are we!?
Within the next few days I'll have them up- I promise!!!
PS- I start trainging at my new job tomorrow. Not quite done at Slumberland- I told them I'd work part time till the 1st to 'help out'.

Day off!

Today is the big day. I'm going up to Jennelle's house (1.5 hours away)to get my hair chopped, and to hang with her and the kids, and bro-in-law Matt aka burn victim. He's doing much better now! You can only see small patches on his face where his skin is still trying to heal. His hand is still pretty damaged, but being he was completely engulfed in flames from the waist up (a month ago), and that is the only place still badly damaged... I think he's counting his blessings. It should've been a lot worse. I am positive God knew Matt needed a miracle- to feel His presence in his life.

Last night I did something stupid. I watched a show that accidentally got recorded with another show I taped. You guys ever seen Supernatural? I don't deal well with scary- I should've realized this would not be a good thing for me to feed my mind right before bed. To make a long story short, this town is under the rule of a pagan-god that the pilgrims brought over from Europe. It (in the form of a scarecrow in an apple orchard) 'blesses' this town if the people give it a man and woman sacrifice every year. The show scared the snot out of me- I was shivering and clinging to Matthew by the end.

Thankfully, it didn't seep into my dreams. My dreams are extremely vivid. Last night's scene was another Slumberland fiasco turned into road trip. Somehow I ended up in a wooded trailor park with a HUGE frog chasing me and my dog- only the dog wasn't Bertie. It was a little orange curly thing. No worries, the poisonous frog got it in the end- I picked it up by it's head and threw it discus style.

"You can't fire me- I don't work in this van!"

a title wouldn't do it justice.

Work continues to be incredibly awkward. The only people that know I'm leaving are the manager and owner of the store. They will not allow me to tell the people I work with- the ones I actually care about- that I'm leaving. They said they want to wait as long as possible to not create panic? I would like to have some semblance of closure with these people that have become my friends! They are waiting until I only have a few days left of work- and when I start packing up my things. Yeah I can see that they don't want this leaving business to become a trend, but how rude to all involved to not let me be honest with these people. My coworkers talk about upcoming get togethers, and all I can do is shrug my shoulders. I've given them lots of time to get someone new in place. They had plenty of really good applicants before I even put in my notice.

I think the manager actually picked 2 gals that came in the other day. Reason: they were extremely attractive. When I told my manager (who was on lunch break at the time) that a model-esque girl was there to see him about the position, he literally shot out of his chair (yes, he is married). The interview lasted over 2 hours, and while he was meeting with that gal, another one came in. He really should've learned his lesson from the last 'hottie' he hired solely on her looks. She ended up being taken away from work by a detective (in a police car). Yikes. She told us all she got Punk'd, but not so. She lasted a little over a month. Not to say that these 2 gals fall into that same category- but he makes it obvious why he likes certain applicants and not others.

Oh, and 'Get out of Dodge' boy applied. Actually, to be more precise, he walked up to the counter and told my manager (in so many words) that he was ready to accept his position... that 'this won't be too hard'. He hadn't even filled out an application. Manager was dumbfounded. If the 2 hotties hadn't come in later that day, he said he was considering hiring buddy. Even after G.O.O.D. boy came in last week (was there for 1-2 hours) and proceeded to judge every single person that walked in the door. I was really confused when he called most of the women 'b_____'.

Anyone see The Office last week? I was thinking of getting my manager a George Foreman as a going away present.

PS- thank you for letting me vent. Don't get me wrong- I am truly excited about this job change, extremely thankful for the doors being swung wide open, and continually amused (and amazed) by the constant drama in this little town I call home.

Ch-ch-ch-chaaaaanges...

Okay, so what do you guys think of these styles? My sister Jennelle is going to cut/dye my hair maybe this weekend. I picked up a hair magazine and this is what I came up with. Feel free to vote for your favorite- I'm open to suggestions.








a) I think my hair would do this pretty naturally with this cut. I like the color too, but maybe a little drastic for me?













b) I like the subtle streaks of red.













c) This cut might end up looking a little mullet-esque on me, but I really like the dye job.








d) If I went short-short again, this is what'd I think I'd choose. Kristin, this is the style I think you should go for- I finally found a good example of what I was trying to explain before. The color would obviously be a little different for you, and you wouldn't have to be blinded by your bangs like this girl. How does she drive or walk in a straight line for that matter!?!










e) This cut wouldn't require a lot of change- my hair is similar to this right now. I would just need shorter layers.

Today I feel...

"Super Trouper" - Abba

Sorry, the Lifehouse video had other things to do and split. I hope you got to see it!

done.

Well, I did it. I went into work this morning, met one-on-one with my manager, and as he was asking me about my sales goals for 2006, interjected, "Um, yeah, about that..."

He was actually very gracious about it. I was so relieved. He tried in several ways to change my mind, but my mind was made up. He could tell that, and backed off. In the next few weeks before I am done completely there, I'm not going to go into detail about all of the things that went on with management. Instead, I'm going to focus on relationships... letting my coworker friends know they are valued. I want to go out with integrity. My manager asked me not to tell the rest of the crew yet- he doesn't want to raise panic. He wants to make sure he has someone to fill in my place beforehand. I think he's afraid that if he tells them now, they'll all start quitting one by one.

THANK YOU so much for everyone's encouragement. I know to some of you, this may seem like small potatos- not that big of a deal. Anyone reading this that is a 'people-pleaser' by nature will relate. It's really hard feeling like I'm letting down people I care about. BUT, time to move on. This will be great!

Ooh- and I got a great visit from the 'Get out of Dodge' boys today! (The first person who remembers who they are gets 25 gold stars.)

Indeed!

I got the job! Mary called last night and told me they definitely want me to work there. She said she understood if I wanted to think about it- I told her there was no thinking necessary. There was one thing that solidified it all.

On Wednesday night when I was getting ready for bed, this number popped into my head. I thought it was strange, not being able to get this number out of my head, but then I 'knew'. God put in my mind the amount they were going to offer me per hour at this tour company. Keep in mind, I didn't know if I was going to be offered the job- if I was, I didn't know if it would be salary or hourly. I told Matthew, and he thought I was crazy.

When I talked to Mary last night she offered me that EXACT amount. HA! I felt my spine shiver when she said it. God is so amazing. I think we all have this idea of God being this unreachable being. He cares about the things we care about (even the littlest things)- and He will let us know it in ways we least expect.

Anyways, I have the dirty job now of quitting my current job (Monday is the big day). I felt like such an evil person today sitting through our weekly group meeting. The owner of the store pegged me as his 'golden boy' for the month. He's expecting me to sell way more than anyone else because I've been doing so well this month. He went on an on... oh bother.

"When can you start?"

Today's second interview went great! I met with Mary, her sister Michelle (who I will be taking over her job doing their huge yearly catalog), the owners, and the executive director. I was a bit nervous at first- all these people staring at me, asking me questions. It went so well, though, and I felt no pressure to be someone I'm not. It felt like we were just a group of friends hanging out having coffee.

At one point during the meeting, Mary turned to her dad (the owner) and said, "I told you she was quality". They are really excited about me working there! There is only one detail yet to take care of. They are meeting right now to figure out what my 'package' will be, as in what I will be paid and what benefits they will offer. Really, I feel such a peace about all this, that I'm sure whatever they offer will be just what I need. I'm not worried in the least.

Commence Phase Two: Telling my manager and the owner I'm leaving. One of our warehouse guys tried to leave about 2 weeks ago. The manager guilted him so bad that he cowered back into his place. Sheesh...I thought signing that contract in blood when I started was just a quirky formality! Does anyone have a garlic necklace and wooden stake I can borrow?

The Call.

I am so amazed at God's faithfulness.

Throughout this process of deciding to leave my job I've been really worried about what people at work will think when I turn in my letter of resignation. My whole life, really, I've been catering to what other people want me to do. Right now I'm so tired that I can think of nothing better to do than sleep. But the decision has been liberating.

Have you ever known God's presence to be with you? So often we question, 'God, where are you?' He never promised in His Word that we wouldn't face rough situations. He continues to promise, however, that He will calm us from the inside out, and give us direction/wisdom.

Yesterday I took a day for me. I drove to a town an hour away and went shopping with all the gift cards I got for Christmas. It was nice not feeling rushed. On the way home, a gas station had their lit up sign posted with this message, "God gives us big dreams, so we can grow into them." I started thinking about the person that owns that gas station. When they were young, I'm pretty sure they weren't announcing to the world, "I'm gonna pump gas when I get bigger!". But wherever we end up in life (at the different stops) we have the choice to be content with where life has paused.

I feel God with me right now. He understands my heart and that is so comforting. The entire time I've worked at Slumberland, I've wanted something more. He gave me an introverted spirit- I enjoy being on my own, creating things with my hands. I love being with other people too (don't get me wrong), but I NEED time on my own to recollect myself. I haven't had energy after the long, draining hours at Slumberland to do much of anything.... so I'm really looking forward to an 'out'. Even if this other position doesn't work out- I am fine with that. I feel peace- something I haven't felt in a long, LONG time.

This morning when I woke up, the phone rang, and I knew who would be on the other end. It was Mary calling about the position we met about last week. The owners of the company are back and want to meet me. I have another interview in an hour.

Today I will probably find out if I have a new job.

Why does she dig?

'Stop the Madness!'
by, Cristina Cherry

Oh Bertie,
Why must you drive me insane
with the assaults on your food bowl?

I am wrong to say you are merely hungry,
because you dig and you whine
even after I've filled it.

You dig and you whine until it is
clear across the floor... and you've
scattered your meal everywhere.

You always eat until there is no more...
What sense is there in the incessant digging and whining?
You know you will eat it anyway.

Is this an urgent protest?
Are you longing for something better to appear?
Are you sick of my 'cooking'?

Poor little Prime-ribless dog.

Tag, You're 'It'.

I was tagged recently by Jessica on my blog list... and have not completed my task. Sorry 'bout that. Good thing I'm such a people pleaser and haven't slept a wink since. No, I'm not serious. The name of the game- I have to discuss 5 things that people don't know about me. Then I get to tag 5 other people and make them do the same.

1) I grew up with a dad that enjoyed scaring the snot out of me- always hiding around corners and in closets. Thus, I've been afraid to be alone in a house for fear that someone is hiding around the corner, or outside my window. I like living on the 3rd floor of our apartment building because it is highly unlikely someone could break in. (I refuse to watch horror movies for the same reasons).

2) I don't like foods with weird textures: onions, mushrooms, eggs, fatty meats, any seafood. I've tried to like them, but it just wasn't meant to be.

3) Subconsciously I chew on my fingers. Not so much my finger nails, but the hang nails/cuticles. It's gross, I know, but I can't stop, even when Matthew sees me and slaps my hand. Silly boy.

4) I talk in my sleep. It doesn't usually make sense, but I've embarassed myself a few times in group sleeping situations. For example: discussing my cup size while sleeping in a camper with my whole family. Hmm...

5) Sometimes the smallest decisions take some pondering. If I have too much on my mind, I should never be allowed to go shopping. Alone is okay, but not with Matthew. I end up reading labels and staring at cans for far too long (mostly b/c I'm not even thinking about the decision- I'm thinking about whatever situation is on my mind, while staring at the cans). Matthew, in the meanwhile, IS thinking about the decision and saying, "Uh, hello... are you seriously taking this long to choose which soup to buy?" Then I respond, "What? Oh yeah, which one should we buy?" Then he says, "Unbelieveable" and walks to the next aisle out of disgust for my 'indecisiveness'

So there you have it- my 5 things. Now I tag:
-Dan
-Matthew (I challenge you to post 5 things even I don't know about you!)
-Melanie
-Heather
-Gord (now you have to actually write something on your blog instead of just posting pictures)


Oh, and by the way- if you are reading this and not on the list above- consider yourself tagged. Come on....doooooo it.

dirty rotten...

I feel like such a traitor going into work everyday. This secret is threatening to explode inside me. I shouldn't feel so bad that I'm leaving. If the tables were turned and they were letting me go, they wouldn't give a monkey's uncle about how I felt on the matter.

Is it really my fault that the manager hasn't been doing his job by keeping the store staffed properly? No, of course it isn't... but I don't want my coworker friends to suffer the wrath of our oh, so sensitive manager when I leave. It is imminent. I can't go back on this decision now.

Maybe this all sounds trivial, but this is huge in my world. I have a hard time with change. But, this job has not been a healthy 'normalcy' to live in. It's strange how making this decision has actually made me feel more alive.

Brielle, I keep thinking about how you are 'starting over' in Oregon right now. I'm sure it was hard leaving behind everyone at Dordt... but now you are getting married soon and moving into a new place, finding a job. Is it overwhelming or mind numbingly exciting? I can only imagine this strange sense of freedom you must have!

In conclusion:
Perhaps the grass will always be greener on the other side of the fence, but why live in a muddy hole? Even if the grass has a few weeds once you get there, why not take the risk? I say it's worth it. We only have 1 chance to live each day. Make it count so you don't get to the end of your life with a mile long list of regrets.