"Top Ten Signs You've Got A Bad Summer Job"

(from Letterman's June 10 show)

10. You have a 40-hour week schedule, but you only work

Monday and Tuesday

9. You greet customers by saying,

"Hi, welcome to Kenny's Rotting Shellfish Shack"

8. Interviewer asks if you know how to type, take dictation

and dispose of a body

7. Donald Trump hired you as apprentice

in charge of checking hairpiece for ticks

6. Sign in bathroom reads: Employees must wash manager

5. Asked if your sense of taste has been

destroyed by the asbestos yet

4. You're posing for "before" photos for diet plans,

dermatologists, and plastic surgery

3. The commissary's chowder is made from broiled wite-out

2. Employer contacts you daily via satellite phone from undisclosed location in mountainous region of Afghanistan

1. Eight hours a day, Russell Crowe throws stuff at you.